A car door slams. I have been found. I drag my sleeves across my wet face. I say goodbye to the lover's moon. My love, my salvation, my shelter in a storm has always been the beach. And now, I must leave it. Promises of visits to it are made, but I know they will be broken. This is it. I pull handfuls of sand into my pockets and breathe deep. Would that I could hold my breath forever. I would always have the peace I had moments ago.
I turn my back on my lover. It cannot come with me and I cannot stay. I know that. I cannot look back. I am in a fragile state. I think frantically of getting jobs here and splitting from my family so that I can stay here, beside my beloved beach. How many jobs would it take? Three? Four? I could do it. I'd live downtown close to the beach. The boys could come for the summer. We'd go to the beach. I am grasping at straws. I quell the frantic child in me. I grow up. I say goodbye. I wave. No looking back. Just gentle saltwater tears.
Well done, Heather.
ReplyDeleteI loved that closing line, it bought it all together. I often feel this way about the ocean. It's mesmerising at times. Reminds me of drunken kisses and fish and chips with wet feet, too. Great response to the picture Heather. X
ReplyDeleteAll I can say is how this made me feel: Incredibly sad, thinking of dreams that can take us away from the reality of our lives, loss of youth but that's not quite right, more of time moving on while our lives keep going.
ReplyDeleteBeing alone in such a setting, it seems like anything is possible, doesn't it?
That was so incredibly heartfelt that it brought tears to my eyes.
That's how I felt leaving. I was desperate to stay. But what could I do? I just block it off now. I try not to remember how it felt to live surrounded by the ocean. I feel very much like I've lost something I'm supposed to have.
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