Answers

I'm trying to help but you rebuff me
I look inside for answers
There are none only outside
Those bottles that sit beckoning
Promising a way out from this worthless life
I live, I exist, I breathe, I am,
Nothing.

I plan my escape one more time.
It's always the pills, take too many
It seems such a peaceful way to go
I'm only afraid of what comes after.
Will God forgive me.  But then I'm living
in hell right now.  How much worse can it get?
Nothing.

I am nothing. My dreams will never come true.
I cannot help you, you turn me away.
I sit doing nothing watching you do it all
As I do not participate in life, a spectator
Life is a sport I don't get to play.  Just one
I read, and watch, and dream of.  I don't ever
expect to be picked for the game.  Not even
last.  No one sees me.  I am invisible.  My
participation is not desired.  I am tolerated in
the stands as a watcher.  It hurts.  Bone deep
I feel what your rejection means.
Nothing.

I was born nothing, an unwanted child
Given up by my mother to parents that
Wanted a boy.  No one understood
my emotions.  I was invisible.  I am
invisible.  I will be invisible.  Ashes to
Ashes, dust to dust, nothing to nothing.
Nothing.